I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
In other news, I just burned my penis
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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