OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
