Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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