Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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