he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
