living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
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