i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
