i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
We had sex on a dog bed..
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
