so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
