I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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