And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
