Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
