Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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