Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
