Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
