Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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