Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Randomize
