hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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