hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
