your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
