I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
