He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
