I can't watch pbs sober anymore
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I need a beard to bite.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
