You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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