I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
