Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
