Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
