Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
She bit a glass in half.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
