just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
