What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
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