You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
