Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
