All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
