I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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