I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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