bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Randomize
