I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
