I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I take back everything I said about communal showers
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
