i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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