I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
