i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
