I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
