Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
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