How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
