She's JV to your varsity
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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