True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
