Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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