Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
