If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
