Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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